I sit here
And I think
As I try not to blink
While you ejaculate
Your thoughts
All over my face
But in case
You were not aware
My heart can bare
Anything your mouth
Can spit at me
You see –
I’ve been gagged
And whipped
By emotions unrequited
I have learned the hard way
Not to fight it
So I wipe my face clean
And redress myself with pride
Because from your naked soul
I cannot seem to hide


She awakens with head spins that remind her of her childhood
The dizzy spell she would feel after too many rides on the tiltawhirl

Her arm is caught beneath the man sleeping next to her
Not comforting like sleeping in her mothers arms as a babe

The lace lingerie she is wearing irritates her skin
Similar to the wool sweater her nan had knit her long ago

She gets in the shower to wash off the shame
While at one point, she’d get in the tub to play with her toys

She laughs to herself at how much things change daily
And slowly realized how much they did not change at all


Lost without a map, stuck within this trap

I call my mind, I swear I’m fine, I lied

The voices are so loud, I cannot hear a sound

I have no compass to direct me, this disease continues to infect me

Why did life select me, was this fate or simply



YOU fed the demon

YOU outstretched YOUR arm

and there rested upon YOUR hand

were the words YOU had never said

fresh meat to feed the beast

which i struggled to starve

and YOU were well aware

that it had crept beneath my sheets

and crawled into my mind

what did YOU hope to find within my pain

YOUR gain?

and what brought YOU to align

YOUR burdens with mine

YOU crossed the line

and now YOU stand in no mans land

between my body and my brain

do not bother to apologize

YOU chose YOUR side

now i will defend mine

from YOUR demons that remain


Throughout my body

Numbness lingers

As I retrace the marks

Left by your fingers

They remind me of a time

I wish not to speak of

When bruises would measure

The extent of his love

A point in my life where

My future was bleak

Because under his hands

I was fragile and weak

However, it seems

When you leave them

I feel –

I feel like these bruises

Prove that I’m real

You left them in lust

Marks in anger he made

I’ll be scarred forever

Even after they fade

Hell Bound

If secrets are for sinners

Then send me straight to hell

They say the truth can hurt

So I guess I might as well

Join the alcoholics

And pour myself a drink

Life is always easier

When you don’t have to think

About tomorrow

Or the days within the past

Empty the bottles baby

So this innocence can last

Alternate Endings

In those mere moments she envisioned her immediate death. She could see the car speeding down the dead end street, she could hear the piercing sounds of sheet metal colliding with concrete, she could feel the chill overcoming her body, and then it went dark. Her eyes fluttered open and as she weighed her right foot down on the break pedal her heart sank into the pit of her stomach. As much as she wanted her pain to stop, she could not bare inflicting pain on the people in her life. It was as if her mind kept rewriting alternate endings to her novel, and the people surrounding her kept it from being published.


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