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Surrounded by strangers in a strange bar, she searched for a familiar face, but the booze blinded her.

Like a rehearsed routine, she sacrificed her sleep for his company. Tonight however, he was no where to be found.

He had made an easy escape, clean cut, painless- for him at least.

Regret eroded her mind. It had been years since she let vulnerability back into her vocabulary, but he managed to seduce her into speaking.

With no desire to reenact the lifestyle she had before music notes mesmerized her mind, she couldn’t help but feel nostalgic for the night life.

The very thought of complete control made her heart race. The desire to be wanted, to feel desirable. She had that power once, he had let her feel that way once.

A relationship built under blankets, strengthened by substance and nurtured only by nightfall.

As the sunrise seeped through the curtains and a hand shielded blood shot eyes, her face was merely a mirage. She would leave her scent on the pillow and a glass of water on the table, proof that she was there with no obligation to ever return.

“Leave before you’re left.” She savored the thought in her mind endlessly.

And then it hit her.

He had left.

I’m stuck in my mind

And I cannot find

An escape

Or a way out

My head is full

Of doubt

About

You and I

And my

Fucked up head

Just take me to bed

I said

Give me a break

From this

Please kiss me 

I’m sorry

Running Away

As I smoke my last cigarette

I look out onto the street

And I try my hardest not to regret

The burdens I constantly try to defeat

And as the beer flows

My life flashes by me

But that’s how thing go

I squint to try and see

The band on the stage

My ears hear the music notes

And as you turn the page

I realize the words you wrote

Were not written with me in mind

Because her face haunts you

The past you cannot leave behind

Even if you wanted to

And I try my best

To obtain your attention

I’m sick of trying to rest

When I just want to run 

TO HER FROM HIM

Just say it,

Make the words fit

Together in a line

“It’s nothing, I’m fine.”

Why even try

To lie?

I don’t want to fight

I just want us to be right

You threaten to leave

Please just believe

Me when I say

I want you to stay.

I know you are scared

But I really do care

About how you feel,

I’m not sure how to peel

Back my skin

And let you in,

I’ve tried. Before

You slam the door,

I want you to know

I had to go

To the bar for a drink

So I could think

About me… and you.

I want to

Apologize

For the tears in your eyes

It was not my intent,

It was not what I meant.

I Was A Poem

I was the light

Shining down on the stage

Blinding your sight

As you turned the page

 

I was the sound

You made into a song

As your words spun around

They strung me along

 

I was the air

Your chest would ignore

I stripped myself bare

But you wanted more 

 

I was the rain

You’d pretend not to see

As you tried to abstain

From falling for me

Lost In Thought

The decisions we make

Decide the path we take

Along this beaten trail we stay

Fearful of the consequences if we stray

And what defines the wrong and right

When everything’s under a different light

For what you and I try to believe

Depends on how our minds perceive

In the dark we find the truth

That we are old despite our youth

As we sit and dream of desires

Reality spreads like a wildfire

Soon enough we’re old and grey

We’ve watched our lives just slip away

While we danced in bars and drank the rum

This can’t be all that we’ve become

 

* * *

 

What if the person I should be

Does not agree with how I see

The world around me

 

Untitled For Now.

It fills my lungs

Until my chest is tight

A feeling that I never

Felt was right

Until now -

I had not thought

Of this before

It was always one man

And then one more

But now I’m fine

With you

And I

And this -

And all I needed was

A simple kiss

Upon my forehead

And an arm

Around my waist

Just a taste -

Of something I

Could not deserve

You place a finger

On my lips and say

“Not another word”

So I shut my mouth

And close my eyes

And agree to try

 

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